FROM THE ARCHIVE

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In The Hoop
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2002

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

I'm Sorry, Your Honor, I do not recall...
Secretary of Interior Gale Norton today becomes the first Cabinet member of the Bush administration to be forced to testify in court. Is this an historic occasion?

To Indian Country, and to anyone who has paid attention over the years, definitely not. An Interior secretary who takes the stand in a contempt trial is about as routine as deputy official Bob Lamb breaking down and apologizing for everything that's gone wrong.

So it was no surprise that Sen. Frank Murkowski (R-Alaska) was flabbergasted yesterday at the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee hearing. "It's beyond me," he said, as he laid into Deputy Secretary J. Steven Griles for the latest transgressions.

"You've had two Interior secretaries in a row held in contempt of court," Murkowski said, blaming it all on the Bureau of Indian Affairs.

"This Secretary has not been held in contempt," responded Griles.

Yet.

Statistical sampling, anyone?
Wasn't it just convenient that Griles announced to a big, important Congressional hearing that he was "tired" of waiting on Special Monster Alan Balaran's approval to operate a Minerals Management Service (MMS) system and would instead issue checks to Indian Country manually?

For those with short term memories, making such important notices has been a tactic of the executive department for ages. Just one year ago, Norton told the Senate Indian Affairs Committee that she was approving a controversial and costly statistical sampling plan of the Individual Indian Money (IIM) accounts.

According to court monitor Joseph S. Kieffer, this was only done to show Congress that the Bush administration was "proactive" on trust reform. "An added incentive for this memorandum was the fact that nothing had been accomplished by the previous administration," Kieffer also noted.

But now, the only "proactive" thing about the decision was that it helped land Norton in hot water with U.S. District Judge Royce Lamberth, who said the action was "so clearly contemptuous" that he was appeared ready to sanction her even before the trial started.

The Rez Planet
Quite a few of you had suggestions on what planet Norton has been on recently. Some of them won't be printed because they were too suggestive (you know who you are) but here is a selection of those we found amusing.

From Oklahoma: "Of course we have learned the proper pronunciation of this planet, but just for laughs, let us pretend ignorance (shouldn't be too hard - just follow in Ms. Norton's footsteps) and say she belongs on Uranus!"

From a reader suggesting Mars: "Maybe that's why they call it the red planet and why they are in such a hurry to get there coz they heard we've got land up there."

From another: "I can't tell you what planet Secretary Norton is from, but I'll bet that whatever it is, it has no USGS, no caribou, and no American Indians. (Thanks for all your fine coverage of this slow-motion train wreck.)"

Oh, you're welcome!

In Your Hoop
Do you have an interesting tip to spill? Email In the Hoop and let us know.