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MONDAY, MAY 19, 2003

"Hey, it’s me again, coming to you live from somewhere beyond the grave.

Yup, that’s right. Recent rumors of my untimely demise have been greatly exaggerated, but I’m here to tell you, they’re also TRUE!

I’m DEAD!

Stiff. Toes up. I hit my expiration date, I’m worm-fodder, pushin’ up daisies, snuffed, cancelled – whatever – I am definitely (sing it like a munchkin!) most legally and sincerely dead!

Now, if it sounds to the casual reader as if I’m a little too happy about having Xs over my eyes to REALLY BE dead. I’m here to tell you that having croaked isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

For one thing, from now on I’ll always be LATE.

Talk about being on 'Indian time.'

Then there’s this lovely aroma I seem to have acquired – I’ve definitely ripened quite well before my time."

Get the Story:
Potter Column: Artist predicts posthumorous prosperity (The Billings Gazette 5/17)

More John Potter:
John Potter: Random thoughts from a madman (05/05)
John Potter: A tribute to ordinary Joes (4/21)
John Potter: I'm in love with . . . Montana (4/7)
John Potter: Slaughter of bison is 'genocide' (03/24)
John Potter: Indians aren't bad, just drawn that way (03/10)
John Potter: All tingly for Ore. governor (2/24)
John Potter: The State of the Whatever (02/10)
John Potter: Who me, grovel? No way! (01/27)
John Potter: A multi-tasker at heart (01/13)
John Potter: What I want for Christmas (12/16)
John Potter: Flying to Nashville (12/02)
John Potter: No more snowmobiles (11/18)
John Potter: I do NOT hate white people (11/4)
John Potter: Mad about Yellowstone bison (10/21)
John Potter: My ode to Autumn (10/07)
John Potter: Snot noses at art show (9/23)
John Potter: Mad about Kennewick Man (9/9)
John Potter: My wild car chase (8/26)
John Potter: My search for donuts (8/12)
John Potter: I'm a Survivor (7/29)
John Potter: My Wedding Anniversary (7/15)
John Potter: Yet another move (7/1)
John Potter: Leave me alone (6/17)
John Potter: They really like me (6/3)
John Potter: Cutting back (5/20)
John Potter: Mother's Day (5/13)
John Potter: Hope springs eternal (5/6)
John Potter: Create Indian holiday (4/29)
John Potter: A history lesson (4/22)
John Potter: I am the Tax Man (4/15)
John Potter: Rudeness (4/8)
John Potter: Hail Fighting Whities (4/1)
John Potter: I was, I am (3/25)
John Potter: His Mail Bag (3/18)
John Potter: Moving to Utah (3/11)
John Potter: Friend of the Wolf (3/4)
John Potter: Desert camping (2/25)
John Potter: Fry Bread Gold (2/19)
John Potter: Get on the bus (2/11)
John Potter: Overcoming prejudice (2/4)
John Potter: The 'Real' Indians (1/28)
John Potter: A nobody at Sundance (1/21)
John Potter: The expanding waistline (1/14)
John Potter: Sacred toenail clippers (1/7)
John Potter: Running into Robert Redford (1/2)