FROM THE ARCHIVE

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In The Hoop
JUNE 22, 2001

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

In The Hoop: The Scorecard
So who were this week's movers and shakers? Its time once again for In The Hoop's take on the winners and losers in news, politics, and beyond.

The Winners
The Coeur d'Alene Tribe - For prevailing in the Supreme Court against all odds. Now will someone finally clean up the waste that all those mining companies have left behind?

American Children - For winning the heart of Secretary of Interior Gale Norton so much that she wants to drill ANWR just for you. Message: Aunt Gale cares.

Big Oil - For getting two key appointments at the Department of Interior.

National Monuments - The House saved you from being drilled. But will they put grizzly bears in you?

The Blackfeet Nation - For offering to sacrifice your reservation to save the Valley of the Chiefs. How much money will you make off this selfless gesture?

The Seminole Tribe - For having a positive story in the press about you this week. It's too bad Chief Jim Billie couldn't have captured that 2-foot caiman, though. Or has he been stripped of those duties too?

Interior spokesperson Mark Pfeifle - For finally learning that Alaska is up North.

The Losers
Indianz.Com Readers - For not having an eyewitness daily account of Norton's trip to Alaska. But someone told us the plane was too small to carry us. Thanks Uncle Bush!

The Gwich'in Nation - For holding onto your traditional culture. Why not just give it up so American Children don't have to do their homework by candlelight? Incredulous.

Indian Country - For capturing the hearts of two benevolent Republican Congressmen so much they now want to help. "This is not an anti-Indian bill. This bill is designed to help Indians."

Grizzly Bears - For being too dangerous to be reintroduced to your homeland. Yet you once roamed this great nation. Now you are stuck on tiny federal reservations while the White Man plays golf.

Paranoid Reporters - For thinking Indianz are out to get you. Silly rabbit, trickz are for kidz. Now kiss our blarney stone.

Suspended Seminole Chief Jim Billie - You've dropped your lawsuit against your tribe. But will you drop your www.chiefjimbillie.com domain? ICANN wants to know.

Maine Tribes - For losing yet another court case. Let's hope the EPA doesn't give you the whammy.

The Miami Nation of Indians - For not being a real tribe. Or are you? We can never tell. We're a gaming tribe.

In the Middle
The Navajo Nation - For voting down health care. Or for approving it. The vote was so confusing, who could tell? Maybe it should have been written in Code Talk.

The Oneida Nation - For managing to book every washed-up 70s/80s musical group at your casino. We congratulate you. But do we need press advisories every five minutes about the latest Nightranger, Chicago, or Earth, Wind & Fire concert? (Just make sure they play "Boogie Wonderland" for us, though.)

Santa Clara Pueblo - For keeping your new casino open one full week. But will you have to fork over 16 percent of your revenues like everyone else? You betta ask somebody!

National Indian Gaming Association - For sending a delegation of not one not two but four to Massachusetts on Tuesday to talk with a certain Boston newspaper staff. The jury is still out on the effect their meeting may have had.

In Your Hoop
Who were your winners and losers? Email us and let us know. You might be published here! Email In the Hoop.