FROM THE ARCHIVE

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In The Hoop
WEDNESDAY, JULY 11, 2001

Welcome to In The Hoop, Indianz.Com's occasional column about assorted Indian issues.

Congratulations Diva!
Guess who made Native America Calling's Top 10 List of Indian Divas yesterday? None other than Indianz.Com's very own Love Monster!

Yes, along with such exalted company as environmentalist and former Vice-Presidential candidate Winona LaDuke, LaDonna "THE DIVA" Harris, songstress and educator Buffy St. Marie, and former Cherokee Nation Principal Chief Wilma Mankiller, the Love Monster managed to win favor among the NAC Crew.

"I am extremely flattered," said a flustered Monster upon hearing the news, noting that she had just given a shout-out to host Harlan McKosato on his recent marriage.

Since readers have been dying to know, the Monster has been very busy with extra-curricular activities lately and thus has been unable to answer any questions from the love-lorn. But she'll be back in full force tomorrow, so watch for it!

Annals of Diva-nity
Now, onto the diva-versy. It turns out one of In The Hoop's Divas was none too pleased to have been awarded such a high honor, afraid of seeing her schemes exposed to Indian Country.

So does this mean that the diva's plans are off? Don't count on it, although her immediate future is nowhere near as certain as she might have hoped.

Sources tell In the Hoop that after reading her mail, responding to phone messages, and clicking onto Indianz.Com, she left the office, locked the door, and never returned. Why would one leave so early on a Tuesday morning, especially since last week was a short one? And moreover, since Congress will soon be conducting a hearing into this diva's area of expertise?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Sources also say the diva spoke to her superior to apologize for the ensuing diva-versy. But what In the Hoop really wants to know is where the apologetic diva went after closing up shop. Was it an early lunch at Blackie's followed by a shoe binge at the Nordstrom's in Pentagon City?

Unfortunately, not likely. She probably just regrouped at her sumptuous, suburban Washington, DC, home (the site of many gracious dinners, by the way) and chatted with friends, lawyers, and lobbyists on a secure phone line all day.

Lawyers, One-Armed Bandits, and Money
In The Hoop has learned that Divas 2001 was the subject of not just one but two conference calls originating from the Washington, DC, area yesterday. The calls weren't called in response to Divas 2001, though. Still, the column was all participants from the Beltway to Bollywood could talk about.

Apparently, Divas 2001 has also gotten "less informed news media" to become very interested in a particular issue. We also hear that a certain member of Congress who recently lavished praise on a newly confirmed government appointee is rather concerned about how the recent actions of a diva will affect his state.

In Your Hoop
Where are the male divas, anyway? Are you one? Email In the Hoop and let us know.