"Remembering who our relatives are may be simple for some. But for families on reservations, it can be a chore because we have such big families.
One sad and memorable day, we all gathered at the hospital because Wesley Plenty Chief, my uncle, was dying. One of my father’s elder sisters came to sit with us. I greeted her simply. She turned immediately to my mother and scolded her. She said “Dorreen doesn’t even know that I’m her grandmother. You should teach her who her relatives are.”
I never forgot that and always looked for her. It is one of the things in American Indian culture, this respect you show the elders by acknowledging them. It is the children who must remember who’s who, and it’s the responsibility of the parents to tell them about family.
During all the recent graduations, I met a lot of my relatives who are now grown up. Perhaps they don’t realize that what they looked like at 5 is different from what they look like at 18. For example, I saw my nephew, Hunter Packineau, whom I hadn’t seen for a couple of years. He shot up to 6-foot-5 and is a sophomore, most handsome and a basketball star. I will remember him from now on. He towers over me.
When I was younger and hung around with teens my age, we would smile when the grandmothers and grandfathers asked, “Who are you?” My wonderful Aunt Pearl always hugged all of them. She only knew they were her children by some relationship.
As my mother grew into her late 80s, she had so many grandchildren, great-grandchildren and even great-great-grandchildren that it was no surprise she didn’t remember them all. She had 13 children of her own. At a family reunion some 30 years ago, there were more than 100 immediate relatives — even though one whole family was missing, as were many children."
Get the Story:Dorreen Yellow Bird: Pomp, circumstance and tears (The Grand Forks Herald 5/28)
pwpwd More Dorreen Yellow Bird:
Yellow Bird: Oil on the Fort Berthold Reservation (5/26)
Yellow Bird: Recycle and live lightly on the Earth (5/12)
Yellow Bird: Leaps in America's multiracial society (5/7)
Yellow Bird: Diversity in the United States (5/5)
Yellow Bird: Pollution a threat to North Dakota (4/30)
Yellow Bird: Program graduates Indian nurses at UND (4/21)
Yellow Bird: Recovering from brain aneurysm surgery (4/17)
Yellow Bird: A fight for oil on the reservation (03/31)
Yellow Bird: Excitement in North Dakota's weather (3/26)
Yellow Bird: Thoughts on Sen. Obama and race (3/24)
Yellow Bird: Pray for rain in western North Dakota (3/19)
Yellow Bird: Grandchildren are the greatest gift (3/17)
Yellow Bird: UND powwow survives budget woes (3/10)
Yellow Bird: Stereotypes and Hillary Clinton (3/5)
Yellow Bird: Celebrating 125 years of UND history (3/3)
Yellow Bird: High hopes for Indian health bill (2/28)
Yellow Bird: More Plains foods that are good for you (2/25)
Yellow Bird: Chokecherries, the wonder fruit (2/20)
Yellow Bird: Sadness on a trip to Standing Rock (2/18)
Yellow Bird: It's time for a change in music (2/11)
Yellow Bird: 'Sioux' drives Indian students away (2/7)
Yellow Bird: Another cold January in North Dakota (1/30)
Yellow Bird: Tribal casinos should be alcohol free (1/28)
Yellow Bird: Race and gender in presidential race (1/23)
Yellow Bird: Barack Obama is my choice for 2008 (1/16)
Yellow Bird: Artman right on off-reservation gaming (1/9)
Yellow Bird: Barack Obama's big win in Iowa (1/7)