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June 20, 2013

The Onion: Indian Country in love with Tonto in 'Lone Ranger'

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Yes there are lots of haters out there. But The Onion, America's Finest News Source, has uncovered the truth -- Indian people LOVE how Johnny Depp portrays Tonto in The Lone Ranger! From the article:
“At long last, we have a tale befitting the long, proud tradition of our tribespeople,” said Douglas Walking Bear Akando, 94, a Potawatomi tribe elder who claimed he was moved to tears by lead actor Johnny Depp’s stoic, thoroughly researched portrayal of the spirit warrior Tonto in the upcoming Jerry Bruckheimer production. “For all of Hollywood’s failed attempts to create something that accurately recounts our glorious past while also honoring the bravery and wisdom of our ancestors, The Lone Ranger does just that. And on July 3, the American people will finally know our story.”

And you better expect statements of support from NCAI, NARF and Bad Eagle (whatever happened to him???) soon:
At press time, a coalition representing the nation’s estimated 3 million American Indians had released a statement completely forgiving the United States for its systematic butchery and subsequent confinement of their people, saying that the new Lone Ranger movie “had made it all worth it.”

Oh that's Johnny Depp giving us stoic Indian realness in an official photo from The Lone Ranger's © Disney website. In theaters July 3!

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