Charles Trimble: Can't really get excited about those mascots

Opinion

Monday, June 21, 2010

College World Series time is upon us here in Omaha, and we will have gone three years now without any offending mascots among the competing teams. This year’s team mascots are all politically- and culturally-correct. We have the Horned Frogs of Texas Christian University; the Gamecocks of South Carolina; the perennial Sun Devils of Arizona State; the Sooners of Oklahoma; the Bruins of UCLA; the Gators of Florida; the Tigers of Clemson; and … Hey, wait a minute; what in Hades is the Seminoles mascot doing here among all the critters in the roster of mascots? Those in-your-face renegades down at Florida State University won’t conform to respectful, intimidated political correctness; and they take their insolence even further by calling themselves the “Noles.”

I’m offended, dammit. Where are the NCAA PC police when you need them?

In a column last year, I noted, “All the nicknames of the competing teams are proper, and it’s all very civilized -- not an Indian in sight. No offensive names like Seminoles, Sioux, Chippewa, Aztecs, and the like. Even names like Warriors, which could mean Polynesian or Nordics, or Chiefs, which could mean any top executive including the U.S. President (like in “Hail to the…”) have been extricated. In all sports, those names are going the way of the Edsel and, unless the PETA folks get all het up about all those fuzzy animal or slithering water creature mascots, all the bloody arenas of intercollegiate competition will now be politically purified.”

The Fighting Sioux mascot controversy seems to be finally over not that the tribal council of the Standing Rock Hunkpapas – who are the very epitome of “Fighting Sioux,” passed a resolution that said, “enough, we have too many other, more pressing issues than to deal with this stuff.” But I thought it was dead a year ago. In fact, in last year’s column on the subject, I thought the Fighting Sioux mascot was history – gone, kaput. But they struggled on and took the fight to the homegrounds of the North Dakota Sioux tribes and kept the issue before the national Native public for most of the year. It’s something they should have done long ago.

But I’m still trying to help them come up with a new mascot to replace the Fighting Sioux, now that their beloved mascot is dead and buried. No institution of higher learning should be without a mascot or some other silly symbol of its rampaging spirit. I had suggested some names for them like the Mad Russians, the Terrible Swedes, the German Invasion, or the Bouncing Czechs, any of which would better reflect the demographics of the state of North Dakota (“Nordakota” to most of them).

UND could do like some schools that obviously don’t take their athletics all that seriously, and have some fun in adopting a new mascot. Take for instance, the Fighting Okra down at Delta State University. Or they might consider taking the very wise route of picking a name that has no meaning whatsoever, like the Georgetown University Hoyas, or the Virginia Tech Hokies. Who can be offended by Hoya, and Hokie is an adjective for a yokel?

Why don’t they just adopt the name the Fighting Sushi? That’s pretty close to the name they are being forced to jettison. They might even spell it Siouxshi.

Or perhaps UND could even crack the proverbial glass ceiling that has become the metaphor for the feminist struggle for wage and political parity. The feminine gender is totally absent from the national list of mascots, even among women’s colleges. We have numerous teams calling themselves the Rams, but one never hears the name the Fighting Ewes. Why not the University of North Dakota Fighting Cows?

And there are other animals that are slighted. Take, for instance, the pig. You have the Arkansas Razorbacks, the grumpy and vicious wild boar of the Southern woodlands. But what about the good old domestic swine – the other white meat? And what about the common dog? There are fancy pedigree names like the Huskies up at the University of Washington and the University of Connecticut (UConn, get it?); Terriers at Boston University; Bulldogs at several colleges; and even Salukis at Southern Illinois University. But nothing like the Growling Mutts, or the Snarling Rez Dogs.

It’s not fair.

If the NCAA is going to be pushy about forbidding certain offending names, why don’t they get all het up about gender and species inequality, and force some of those behemoth teams in the Big Ten to adopt appropriately egalitarian new mascots? The University of Iowa Grunting Sows? Sounds good to me. You’ve got to give Ohio State University credit for creativity, however; adopting a tree for their mascot that has a brawny masculine name – Buckeyes.

When the NCAA world gets purified, I’m going to miss all the hullabaloo and hoopla that surrounds the mascots issue. In the 1960s, all the youth were raising hell over mundane issues like world peace, nuclear proliferation, sex and love. From the 1990s on, it was about the earth- shattering issues of offensive mascots.

As you might gather, dear reader, I can’t get excited about this whole thing. Except for the demeaning “Redskins,” I have not felt offended by team mascots with names like Indians, Chiefs, Warriors, or any tribal name, as long as they have permission from the tribe and are respectful in using it. But I guess it’s just as well that those schools drop those names and let Native students get back to what they came to the college for: to study hard and get a good education, and not feel compelled to seethe with indignation, spend all-nighters making slogan placards, and demonstrating.

Charles “Chuck” Trimble, Oglala Lakota, was principal founder of the American Indian Press Association in 1970, and served as Executive Director of the National Congress of American Indians from 1972-78. He may be reached at cchuktrim@aol.com. His website is iktomisweb.com.